Heaven is for real.

I picked my son up from school, as usual; I was blasted right away with a million why, how come and about 20 questions on various topics. This is normal for us. Tres is such a smart and curious child, a simple answer or I don't know will never do. We were about half way home and he blurts out, "Emily said we will go to Heaven! I want to go to Heaven and be in Heaven with God. How do I do that? Because she said she is going to be in heaven and I want to go there too!" I began to explain that to enter heaven we have to ask Jesus into our heart and live our lives for God. He responds with, "Hey Jesus, will you live in my heart?" "Mama, ok, now I can live in heaven!" What childlike faith! :-) This makes my heart full. As a parent, I know I will make mistakes. I will struggle with knowing that the choices I make now will effect Tres and Zane for the rest of their lives, good or bad. I will always wonder if what I am saying is falling on deaf ears or if deep down they truly are listening to what I am saying. I cannot control or be with my boys 24/7 all the time. I have to have faith and LOTS OF PRAYER over them every day! This world can be so scary when you are a parent. Seems as the years go on, the more I notice such sin, pain and destruction. When they are a baby, you want to protect them from EVERYTHING but as they grow older, the need to protect stays the same and their independence grows. It is a constant battle that I don't think will change for our family any time soon! lol I have learned that instead of focusing on control I need to focus on teaching my boys to listen to their conscience. The voice inside that guides you to choose right from wrong. My prayer is that they learn to listen to that voice and each will develop their own personal relationship with God. This life is full of choices. As much as we would like to think we have control over our lives; we do not. We do however have control over our emotions. We need to respond rather than react and to know the difference. My hope for our boys is to plant seeds deep into their hearts, so that no matter where life takes them the love of God is never far from their reach.

Third times the charm.

I guess I never updated everyone on how things were going! I posted this post and didn't even go into detail as to why I was having alot of those emotions.

To give you a back story I will try and keep the short version! lol

I started having more knee pain. Like alot of pain. More then I usually had on a daily basis. I was told after several tests that I had loosening of my replacement. So back to the OR I went. I was going to have a partial replacement and be back up and running in a few weeks. Well, while under the knife my replacement basically "fell" out and onto the table. So they ended up having to do a FULL knee replacement. That makes 3 for me! 15 surgeries and learning to walk all over again. I had to stay in the hospital for 10 days. Thankful for friends and family to help carry me through this time. I wasn't a child anymore and work, family and financial obligations were looming over me this time around. I had an active 3 year old who would stand at the top of the stairs screaming for me to just come up and lay with him in bed. "JUST BE MY MOTHER!" ouch. This was hard. Probably alot harder this time around. I am on my way to a full recovery and am walking really well now! Thankful for another successful surgery and hoping that the third times the charm!!

What were you doing 13 years ago today?

I know what I was doing. Sitting in a Doctor's chair having my world shattered. You know, just an average case of the Mondays. lol.

Some days it feels like a lifetime ago. Thank you God for answering my prayers. They may not have been the answers I was looking for but always the ones I needed. Thank you for never leaving my side, even when I felt at times I was all alone.

I am alive. I am healthy. I am living my life. I beat CANCER. Check. What's next on my list?